Scary thoughts

It’s one of those days where you wake up and you don’t want to leave your bed. Netflix, chips and zero human contact. You just want to lay in bed and watch that TV series that completely absorbs you, again. Turning off your brain is a great way to avoid the scary thoughts. Am I doing this right ? Is this who am I now ? Some average guy in an average job doing living a life totally uneventful ?

I love Regular Show. It’s a cartoon that tells the adventures of Mordecai and Rigby, two animals that work in a park and in every episode they are just slacking off to the point where something magical happens. It’s a kids show with a lot of teenager/adult jokes and I love it.

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I’m not talking about depression issues. I’m talking about how we never stop ourselves to think reflexively about our decisions yet at the same time we expect to run our lives in the best possible way.

People usually listen ideas that they already believe. It’s very difficult to change your behavior while some ideas are so integrated with your life. With politics and religion is very easy pick sides because that ideas don’t necessarily reflect your personal choices. Many genocides had a strong catholic faith, let alone priests who are pederasts and don’t get me started on politicians. But what about money, family, career and relationships ? Well, things are not that clear. I’m a firm believer that everyone is trying to figure it out. Improvising along the way and trying to do our best with what we have around.

Sometimes we have an OK period. It’s not great but also not bad. Like wearing someone else’s clothes, we don’t feel perfectly comfortable with it yet it fills the purpose of giving us enough to do what we really like. What attitude should we adopt with these periods ? Should we be the person that tries to make the most of the present, accepting what we have been given, trying to settle and looking to be happier ? or should we think of it as a temporal state, a stage that we have to beat in order to get to the next level, to obtain that dream job or live the dream ?

When your mind is battling between crippling self doubt and almost narcissist thoughts is indeed scary. I’m never really sure of what to do next.